Not sure why my post has appeared twice. I try not to repeat myself usually!

conspeclst26, I read your posts over and over trying to be sure I understand it all, and it is very informative. We really appreciate your insight and knowledge on the subject.
Patience, Conrad, Ouder, and the rest of you, THANK YOU for all your input and information too!
I am really glad my wife found your site. She has spent a lot of time reading all this as well, she may even post soon. This would be quite an event as she has never posted to a site before. She has been so devastated since this happened she is a changed person, from one that never got online to one with her own laptop she logs onto every evening to see what may have changed.
Nothing has been "fixed" but we feel stronger in numbers.

Yes, thank you to everyone who is participating on these threads. I cannot tell you how much better I feel. First, it was just the sense of not being alone. But now it feels like I can put down the huge weight I've been carrying around of my sense of guilt and feeling ashamed and feeling like I'M crazy! This has been the most miserable year of my life, and as I come up on the one-year anniversary of losing my son and daughter-in-law, you all have been an unbelievable blessing to me, and I thank you all.

Hi Everyone,
That old saying, "Misery loves company" may not be entirely accurate, but it is beyond comforting to know that your family is not alone in dealing with this strange and bewildering phenomenon.
We at Free Minds in MN used to hold meetings each month for years prior to the existence of the internet.
Attendees were families at various stages of their journey to understand, cope, and deal with losing their loved one to a cult. Not all of the victims were children - - mothers/ fathers, grandmothers/grandfathers. This tends to dispel the concept of the young, vulnerable, naive being the only targets.

May I state that we may have lost our loved ones from our original relationship but do not give up. This is not necessarily a permanent situation.
Most victims walk away. You may be able to speed this process up.

I urge you to become as knowledgeable as you can.
It will empower you far beyond the current feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

May I lay out a plan for you:
1. Read all the books and materials you can.
Discuss the materials with other family members and or
close friends.
The following books (I may have already listed some of
these so forgive me) are going to help:
"Combating Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the
Bonds" by Steven Hassan (a former Moonie)
"Cults in our Midst" by Dr. Margaret Thayer Singer
"Captive Hearts and Captive Minds" Madeline Tobias
and Janja Lalich
"Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism",
Dr.Robert Lifton
"Snapping" Flo Conway and Jim Seiglman
"Recovery from Cults" Dr. Micheal Langone

Web sites: www.freedomofmind.com
www.icsa.org
www.rickross.com
www.freemindsinc.org


2. If you can locate a former member of the group or even
a former member of a different known cult to talk with.
This can give you much insight into how your loved
one(s) are thinking. Ask why and how they left.


3. Once you feel you are reasonably well educated and
have a handle on the subject, meet with family and
friends to decide a course or mode of action.
It may be advantageous to hire a thought reform
consultant at this point to help sort your options.

4. Implement your chosen options. These may be
completely passive, interactively passive, assertively
passive, or aggressively. The direction is relative to
ones strengths and resources.

It is difficult to nail down an exact percentage of success of families bringing their loved ones back to being themselves, but those who become well educated , make good decisions and are quite often successful. My personal observation is around 80%.

One note - - one can find themselves becoming overwhelmed with the information and panicking - - like jumping into the deep end of the pool and discovering you are having trouble swimming.
Take a step back and do whatever it is that allows you to relax. A movie, walk, whatever. Remember, you need to be functioning well to take the information in and to make good decisions ( unlike how the groups want their victims).

I will see if I can have some successful families join us here.

"I know but one freedom and that is freedom of the mind "
Antoine St. Expury

Here's the web site for Christina's practice:
http://www.mississaugatherapy.com/index.php?pg=about

The only thing that worries me(an continues to worry me) is that christina is a psychology associate.
This means she knows(and can share) the ost significant inner workings of the mind. Stefban can really get into peoples heads, and when he cannot, she can. It freaks me right the fuck on out

I couldn't agree more. It all seems so helpful and attractive at first. Under the guise of "helping and liberating people", Stef and Christina proceed to control minds, and to break up families and friendships. In the process of being "freed from the tyranny" of their friends and relatives, fdr'ers become loyal subjects of Stef and his belief system. It is so sad because they believe they are achieving personal freedom. But in reality they are becoming enslaved to Stef.

It is concerning that unsuspecting parents could be sending their troubled children to her when she has an avowed bias toward blaming most issues on the parents. She and her husband have deFOOed. Yet, she is going to serve as a therapist for other parents' children? That is a scary thought. The people in her city have the right to know that she is likely to blame the parents who are trying to help their kids.

Is she a children's therapist?

If you go to her site and click on Service List, you will see the following:
Service List

We offer effective psychotherapy for:

Children
Adolescents
Adults
Individuals
Couples
Families
Our services include treatment for:

Anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks and phobias
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
Depression, dysthimia, bi-polar disorder
Personality disorders
Stress and adjustment disorders
Family / marital problems
Infertility issues
Motor Vehicle Accident (MVA) victims; and
Clients in crisis situations.
Additionally, we provide a full range of psychological testing services, such as:

Emotional / personality assessments
Intellectual / cognitive assessments
Psychoeducational assessments
Return to Work / WSIB assessments
Motor Vehicle Accident (MVA) assessments
Written reports; and,
Verbal consultations and feedback.

Hmm...well hopefully she is able to maintain a high level of professionalism in her practice. I don't really know enough about her to offer any sort of judgment -- especially with regard to her professional capacities -- so I guess I'll leave it at that.

Here's her listing on Ontario Association of Psychological Associates
http://www.oapa.on.ca/pa_listofassociates.htm

Psychological Associate
Christina Papadopoulos, Dip. C.S.
Area of Practice
Clinical Psychology
Clientele
Children, adolescents, adults.
Particular Interests
Individual / Couples' / Family Therapy
Personality and Cognitive Assessment, MVA, Return to Work Assessments

She may be married to Stef, but she is (in fact) not Stef.
I get a witch hunt vibe here once again, so just to be clear, I have put all sharp objects, rope and stakes away and if any one is wondering, I will be manning the fire extinguisher.