hey Meladoriangal,

yeah, it must be odd and possibly spooky to find out your posts are being discussed on another forum, especially a forum where many members are, to say the least, quite critical of Stefan and FDR, although I think many here also acknowledge that we've learned many valuable things from Stefan and FDR as well.

your post sounds about as level-headed and wise as one can be, which is excellent. Absorbing ideas from all sides, thinking about them, seeing what feels or is right for you, is the best way to go imo.

And with that perspective much can be learned from FDR and Stefan and some of the works that have inspired them.

I have little knowledge of your situation of course, but in any case a therapist might be able to assist you in this process.

I second the greeting. I haven't really been a part of this discussion, and don't really intend to get involved. But I just thought I'd say hi, and that if you'd like to talk to someone about Stefan's ethical and political views, feel free to drop me a line.

I think it rocks that you popped in here!

I apologize if I've said anything that made you feel awkward. I think you're a pretty cool person.

If you'd permit me to say one more thing, it would be this...

meladoriangal wrote:

Likewise, I have had many conversations with these individuals and more(outside of forums) about the specific situation of communicating with my mother...

One thing that FDR never recommends is that you and your mother together have some sessions with a good counselor who has expertise in improving family relations. If you're lucky, you both may discover that how you need to receive communications is as important, sometimes more important, than the communication itself.

_________________
-Q.E.

One more thing. I do not find that many of the things that HAVE been said in this forum to be of a nature to where I would want to surround myself with it. Apologies as to whatever this implies, I am not saying that everyone is bad.

I have more respect for you Patience, because you actually had concern and you vocalized it. That is something worth recognition. I do, however, not agree with some of the bashing that seems to have been so easy to do, only driven by a disgust for FDR and its principles. However, so quickly it turns to something else when I showed up on this board.

I simply don't feel comfortable here. But thank you for the concern. Now please, I only request this because my past is indeed sensitive, will you please stop using my past as a means to bash FDR?

I think any human being with decency can understand that. Thank you.

I can fully understand that.

I would say though that the FDR-bashing, although admittedly immature quite regularly, is also based on real, genuine concerns. There are many quite detailed threads on this forum in which these concerns are discussed.

that said, there is also a considerable fascination/obsession with FDR that quite few here have (incl. me), and this fascination/obsession and its possible causes/reasons is actually discussed in some detail in a number of threads as well.

There are a lot of 'ex-FDR'ers' on this forum who became 'dissatisfied' with the direction Stef and FDR were going in, and who either voluntarily left FDR or were banned for speaking out.

anyway, I will of course respect your wishes and not discuss any posts you make on FDR anymore.

Welcome Meladorangal....
People speak freely here with out fear of banning, and speak ill/well of FDR and it's content freely.

No one is using your past as a means to bash FDR. FDR is criticized here because our observations and experiences help us recognize they are abusing your past and you (and others with your shared experience).

Participating in this forum will result in a banning from FDR. Perhaps there in lies the discomfort, which I understand.

I wish you the best.

I suspect she is not returning.

meladoriangal wrote:

One more thing. I do not find that many of the things that HAVE been said in this forum to be of a nature to where I would want to surround myself with it. Apologies as to whatever this implies, I am not saying that everyone is bad.

It would be nice to discuss the specifics of this if she does come back. We speculate based on the information we have and our personal experience. We all expressed concern, but hesitated to act because we knew that reaching out would have repercussions, wherein participation here is a banable offense from FDR, and I personally don't want that for anyone who doesn't want to leave that community themselves, even if I think they'd be better off. Also, given the preconceived notion that she is likely to have about us and the forum here (borne out by her comments above) most of us assumed that she would not be receptive anyway (also borne out above).

SO... I'm just curious exactly what things exactly, besides our bashing of Stef and FDR, are of a nature that you would not wish to surround yourself with them/us? Is this just regarding this thread, or the entire forum, or just the FDR/Stef stuff?

I am an emotional guy, and sometimes I get angry and have outbursts of extreme pissy-ness, but those are also sometimes the moments I best express myself or connect with my truest feelings or find insight into the source of the anger I might otherwise never find. Sometimes just asking myself why I am so angry helps me focus and resolve conflict. So, I wonder why it makes her so uncomfortable (emotionally provocative?) to know that others are watching the goings on at FDR when they involve her, and when she has a blog that is public as well. I mean, we could just as easily be reading and watching and discussing this stuff offline, IRL, and she wouldn't even know it, let alone have an opportunity to respond, to politely request we cease and desist, or to join in herself as this forum has allowed her to do.

I write in a public forum expecting others in public to read what I write. Was she unaware that she was communicating publicly both on FDR and here? Why does it make her upset that others with an interest in FDR and Stef's manipulations have taken an interest in a very public example of the phenomenon, with details posted both at FDR and her public blog, and that we've discussed it here?

I am genuinely curious, and I'd like to discuss it with her.

_________________
Please check out my blog!
Dylboznia

I don't think she really read the threads or posts.
Some observer from FDR more than likely warned her of participation here or she noticed posting here was a reason for banning. That was quite an about face from open and honest to see ya later.

I am sure it was "weird" to see her post being discussed here. Hell when that happened to me I was flattered on one occasion. We were'nt talking about her per say, more the subject of her post.

Your right; What is the difference if we discuss it here, there or on her blog?

She deserves consideration, but I don't think we owe her a bunch of justifications.

Turnabout is fair play

Seriously. I think it's funny. And fair. Let's see what they say!

Apparently, I'm the guy who said "her boyfriend made her do it." I just said, based on what Liberator told us about her husband's experience, that I suspected her BF was reinforcing the FDR stuff IRL. Perhaps I'm wrong, but we'll never know. I really don't think she read this whole thread...