Just got defooed by my 21 year old son. He was pretty much a Straight A Junior in college. But with three semesters to graduation, he has dropped out and taken an hourly job. The separation matched the Guardian story quite closely. He is putting out his own podcasts that sound remarkably like SM. It is truly and deparately sad. All in all, I can't figure out why SM would be so willfully destructive. If he had made even the smallest suggestion for my son to reconnect and work things out, we would have things worked out by now.

My son adored me (and I adored him). Physical affection was still common. Lot's of open communication. An all around great father son relationship (and mother son relationship). I noticed him pulling away at the beginning of last summer. He had his own place. We used to call each other constantly, but that dropped off. Apparantly, he had been working his way into the cult over the summer. We had an argument in late October. Within weeks I got the SM recipe version of the good bye.

I have a copy of one of those call in podcasts between SM and my son after the break. SM played therapist for the whole show. He plants destructive memories. SM alternatively praised him then put him down. You can hear the fawning desire of my son to be accepted. Even to the point of making up his own memories so SM will accept him. At one point SM tells my son an outrageous lie. My son amazingly agrees with the lie rather than risk disagreeing with SM. A friend of mine is a therapist. I asked her to listen to it. She was alternatively angry at the damage being done and mesmerized by the the raw intelligence SM used to cement the separation and destroy my son's memories of what was an unremarkable happy normal childhood. Very sad stuff.

My son is now alone amongst his new online family. SM has replaced me as his new father figure. My wife and I are getting by. We are glad he is safe and figure he will be ok eventually. Here's hoping he really does go back to school and gets his degree.

Sorry to hear about your situation, dfoodad. Could you link to the podcast in which this took place, so that we can hear what happened?

Sorry to hear that your family has also been destroyed. Your story sounds all too familar and much of it could have been written by several other parents here. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with though.

I realise this is painful but it could be helpful if you would link to the podcast or give its number or name so others can try to help, not judge. You should think carefully about what is right for you to do. Conrad is right, it could damage chances of a reunion but having seen another podcast, I feel the chances of reconciliation are slim for FDR members and their families:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cBb6yKR5bTw

Like you, I'm glad that my son is safe and that he'll be ok. But it's still so hard to bear.

Best wishes to you, your wife and your son.

He lies there on that one, in the first 5 minutes. He has many times portrayed what he is doing as a great sacrifice, as in "I gave up a damn lucrative career for YOU!" He's downright messianic half the time.

He is a goddamned lying liar! And a cult leader! There, sue me, douche bag! Please do, and you will blow all your credibility as an "anarchist" by forcibly dragging me before a STATE MAGISTRATE. I'd love the chance to try you on that count in the court of public opinion amongst libertarians and anarchists, Stef. Let's see how you fair in your preferred recruiting ground once you are exposed as a hypocrite and a closet statist.

Anyway, I don't know if it matters what the podcast is. It'll sound just like the one Patience linked. We know how he works and what he does.

My gaydar is on the high after watching that video. Hell actually it has been bleeping for some time with a few members of FDR. I wonder if on some level it is easier for those who prefer the same sex to reject first, rather than face possible judgment and rejection from their families. To be free of that inevitable confrontation of the truth must be very liberating.

To be clear, I admire my gay friends for having the courage to say "hey, this is who I am!". I see in them a truth and strength many do not have. I recognize the courage and character it must take to stand tall in a society (while changing rapidly for the better) not always open and friendly to homosexuals.

Having said that, I could care less what the gender preference is, to me it is moot. What I have wondered is, if for some, abandoning ones parents is one way to escape the truth at least temporarily.

I guess you could be right, but I don't think the gentleman in question is gay. He and I used to be close (I think I still have his number in my phone), and I don't think he's gay.

Well it doesn't matter I suppose; what gender he prefers. As I said it's moot, and I would hope no one is offended. But I have wondered of the real preference with some who have defoo'd. It's just a thought, one I have had many times, so I put it out there.

I don't want to analyze the gentleman in question, or insult him (though I hope he would be open to the question). My bleeper went off and with that repeated bleeping, I wonder if that may be a possible scenario.

Some back story: I have quite a few gay proud friends and we have chatted time and again about their journey to self love and acceptance. Some of them joined odd and extreme groups looking for their fit. It was as they explained, something to immerse themselves in while avoiding/repressing their sexual exploration and finding a place to feel comfortable, similar and at home, vs. different. They didn't defoo per say, but they did distance themselves from their families during this time.

Those stories come to mind when the bleeper gos off.

lol...yeah... MOOT -
thanks

edit- it's moot

Generally, moot is the word used in that phraseology. Like "moot court." But eh, do what you like. I just thought I'd help.

Yes... "MUTE" is what we wish the Stefmonster would be. :-)

- NonE