I am curious to what degree people on this board desire their existing or potential mates to share their intellectual interests.

Though it is easy to find anyone on the internet, the real world is a different story. Most women (and men) that I encounter in my day to day activities can be interesting and/or fun in small doses but would bore me to tears if I spent 2 hours alone with them. Sharing the same political beliefs is obviously not everything, but at some point you need something to talk about that keeps you both interested.

For the past couple years I have had a series of very short relationships (10 dates or fewer) that basically end when I completely lose interest and would rather be home reading a book by myself than be interacting with the current partner. To some degree I think I am not giving some of these women a chance; that its not fair to judge people that quickly. But, on the other hand I value my time very highly and I feel like I am wasting it. When I am on a date I feel like I am straining to be entertaining when I am not really engaged. Afterwards I catch myself lying to delay the next date, and I really really dislike dishonesty, particularly in myself.

Have other people run into this? If so, have you found any semi-successful solutions or are we equally hopeless? For those in relationships, how did you meet your partner? Was it random luck or did you discover some way to target the type of people you wanted to meet?

What attracts you to the women you ask on a date?

The women I go out with are people I meet out at bars or through friends. They are reasonably intelligent, reasonably well spoken, reasonably interesting. They are often fun to hang out with and converse with for an hour or two. After a couple hours though I get tired of superficial conversation and ultimately that seems to be the issue. Most people just aren't willing to move beyond the superficial or don't have much interest beyond the superficial.

Well you get right at the balance I am trying to find. Obviously there is a point at which the positives significantly outweigh any imperfections. I don't think I have found someone yet who does that for me. But, I worry that I don't give people enough of a chance.

I should clarify that actually, I worry that I don't give people who demand something back from me enough of a chance. I am willing to give people as many chances as they want so long as it is on my own terms. It is once I am expected to start to give up some of my freedom, to plan around someone else's schedule that I start to recoil.

Do you think you may be holding on too tightly to your independence? You always have to give some of your terms up when you share time with another. For example, farting at will. lol
When you find the right connection those terms won't be so hard to overcome. Though I caution you my example can be a deal breaker.

edit:It helps to be reminded that those individuals are adjusting their
terms and schedules to spend time with you. If they are not adjusting
their terms and schedules and are readily available then chances are
there isn't much there below the surface or your not on an even playing
field, eitherway it won't be very interesting.

I am curious to what degree people on this board desire their existing or potential mates to share their intellectual interests.

I have trouble talking to anyone who doesn't share my intellectual interests; aside from, "I'll have a number 9 with no lettuce".

I have yet to ask anyone on a date, I have had female acquaintances that I invited to my home to break bread with or at some occasions had the pleasure to enjoy other special events with.

I don't know, I never felt all to attracted to anyone women and I have merely had shallow relationships with them I have known in the past. Wish I could find someone more sexually and intellectually appealing to share my life with.

I never had a relationship one can define with amount of days, all my relationships are very fuzzy regarding when they start and when they end.

I never had a relationship one can define with amount of days, all my relationships are very fuzzy regarding when they start and when they end.
That's true of me, also. I also find very few guys sexually/intellectually appealing, and the two are both related (though not equivalent, as I am something of a perfectionist in human appearance).

I think it is also a factor for both LordMetroid and Vichy and Static that you pretty much have nothing to offer to potential partners...





hey, I'm just trying reverse psychology is all...

;-)


inapprop?

inapprop?
Yeah, because I'm so touchy. My ego is bulletproof.

what do LordMetroid, Static and Vichy want in a relationship, what do you expect and hope for? What would your ideal relationship look like?

I feel left out...it was the fart joke wasn't it?

it was the fart joke indeed. Girls don't fart.

also, you had a real and good relationship before, so the same don't apply to you. Problem is that in your idiocy you actually fucked up the wonderful relationship. But still, you've had the experience. More fish in the pond, and what not. You'll find a halfway decent guy somehow. Sure, it's unlikely that he'll be quite as wonderful as the ex-partner, but that's the price you pay for making stupid mistakes like that.

you know


(just kidding of course)